**TRIGGER WARNING**
He came out of nowhere and stood before me, eclipsing the sun.
I looked up from my book and my breath caught at the sight of his beautiful face.
I can still remember those ocher eyes, strong jawline, and dazzling smile.
He asked for a light and stayed with me for the next half hour, talking and laughing.
He gave me his dorm number when we parted.
Over the next few weeks we’d meet between classes in our spot. I lived for those moments.
He invited me to an end of semester party one day and my heart skipped - I was crushing hard.
That night, my friends and I met in his dorm to head over to the party together - Such a fun night!
Now it was time to go and I remembered my sweatshirt was still in his dorm.
He walked me over.
He kissed me.
I melted.
Then he began unbuttoning my flannel shirt.
My head swirled.
I needed to catch my breath.
I asked him to stop a moment.
He didn’t.
Louder this time,
I put my hands on his chest to push him away.
He didn’t budge.
It all happened so fast.
I felt the weight of him on my now exposed body; the smell of his cheap cologne mixed with sweat.
His mouth all over me tasted of stale beer and cigarettes.
It was over quickly, but those minutes felt like days.
As I sat there buttoning my shirt back up, he tossed me my sweatshirt and bent down to kiss me.
I turned away.
He grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him.
His eyes were dark now, like onyx.
He kissed me hard and said, “You know you liked it. You’ve been wanting it for weeks.”
I never saw him again - The semester was over - I didn’t even know his last name.
But to this day, if I catch a whiff of CK One, my stomach churns and I remember him.
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©️VMLM13 Whiskey + Empathy 2019
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For more information or help regarding sexual abuse of any kind you can call the
National Sexual Assault Hotline @ 800.656.HOPE (4673) or go to www.rainn.org